Since I didn't have a Christmas blog....Merry Christmas to you all!...and since this is my New Year's blog....Happy New Year!

I've been thinking about 2008 alot today and questions pop into my head like...where did the year go? what did I do this year? where have I been?

Since my life has been pretty stagnant because of the strike at school, I completely forgot that my year has actually been pretty damn exciting.

If you were smelling a list coming on...well you're right!

Here's my '08 list of memories:

-Music program head. WOW. I didn't see it coming at the time, but everything I feel about music is a whole other blog.
-Precon '08. First time jitters hahaha
-First year finals...oh boy.
-Anniversary =)
-West Pre-con as Campus based. Ohhh boy. haha
-EUROTRIP. Something I'll remember forever. Truly. It's in my bucket list to go back someday and collect the pieces of my heart that I left behind.
-18th Birthday and shifting into the "age of majority"
-Seeing Joel after 4 months of a long distance vacation relationship haha
-CONFERENCE @ U of Guelph...First time serving, first time choir head. Gottta love music <3
-first SHouT at the Canlas residence. Truly a week to remember...Strong love, Strong household.
-HSB Pep Rally...the Core comes out! haha
-St. Rose of Lima youth vigil.
-Niagara Falls. I never thought it could be so fun there!
-Toronto Tours.
-Dance dance. Fun fun.
-Christmas at the Renaissance hotel beside Sky Dome aka. the Rogers Centre.

This year was so full of surprises and new experiences. It's just been a year of continuous blessings and I can never thank God enough for showing me a world where His fingerprint is everything I lay my eyes on. Praise God for 2008, a year where He showed me how bountiful His grace is when you just surrender and follow. Praise God for the year to come, for more days of heart opening experiences.

"Like a shadow, tied to Your heel, I'll follow wherever You go..." - Always Need You, Melissa Polinar

Soooo....

York TAs are on strike and that means I don't have classes until God only knows when. My initial reaction was "Oh thank God! A little relief from all the due dates I have...." and now that I have all the time in the world to finish all these assignments, have I done them? No. Simple answer. I'm being a horrible student right now.

There's just something about the impending doom of a due date that makes me work my ass off for that A-.

So...since there's no school, and since I don't work during the school year therefore not giving me any sort of cashflow...I have no life.

Also, as a result of this strike lasting for more than 2 weeks...the worst outcome is that school will most likely be extended.

All I can really do however is heave a really big sigh, hit myself over the head until I finish all my work and hope and pray that the TAs will realize that York may not be as rich as they think, that York will see that not all TAs can make ends meet when they do all the dirty work for professors while paying for tuition and only get a fraction of what proffs are paid, and that STUFFING UNDERGRADS INTO CLASSES LIKE SARDINES IS NOT CONDUCIVE TO PROPER LEARNING AND HIGH QUALITY EDUCATION.

I feel so invisble, but only sometimes.

Other times, I'm just there.

2008 so far has been my year of semi-independance and it just feels odd. I'm so used to being part of something big. I'm used to being surrounded by people who know me, people who I'm familiar and comfortable with, but from January until now, it's been quite the opposite for me.

I've had to get used to a new program, a new counterpart, a new household, a new school, new classes, a new crowd, a new almost everything.

I'm just really thankful for the constants in my life. I don't think I could have stayed sane without them.

"The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same...The more things stay the same, the more they seem to change. Don't you think it's strange?" -Corinne Bailey Rae

Some would say this year is a chance to start fresh. It may be the case, but I sure know that this year has been and continues to be a year of exponential growth.

Anyways, I have so much to look forward to. I'm blessed with so many things and opportunities. Sometimes I don't believe it.

Who would have thought I'd be serving at precon this year? Who would have thought that I'd be making plans to go to Germany and stay in Europe for three weeks? Who would have thought I would have had my anniversary in April this year?

I'm not even 18 yet and I've seen and experienced twice as many things compared to other people out there.

Crazy huh? Invisible/missing in action or not. I'd be blind not to say that I'm blessed.

Everytime I dance, I fall in love.

For that moment, I am connected.

My existence is confirmed when I hear the rhythm and connect with myself, with my partner, or with the audience I imagine in my mind.

People may tell me that my thoughts are irrelevant, my verbal expression of my thoughts are not important, that as a person, I don't matter.

However, when I move, I know that what I'm feeling inside is real, that what I am inside is worthy of recognition.

I don't care if people say I'm good or if I suck.

When I dance, there is no illusion of propriety, political correctness or politeness.

When I dance, I am me.

These days, I walk through my daily grind, too worried about what to do next. When I dance, the only thing on my mind is the moment.

Surrounded by barriers of what to do, what not to do, what people say is normal, I become a walking, talking robot.

Dance is my freedom. Dance is the moment when nothing else matters but the present.

Call me selfish, but my dream is to dance for the rest of my life. I want to dance while I can, learn while I can, love while I can.

So when my time is up, I can stand before God and say, "There is nothing left in me. I used all of the talents You've given me."

Everytime I dance, I am connected.

The feel of skin, the rhythm of another person's heart beating with mine, and the sense of breathing, living, and feeling the same thing at the same moment in time tells me that I am human, I am real, I can still feel, and my heart is revived from the deadening effect of this electronic age.

MSN, Texting, The World Wide Web-what's next?

E-mail to E-mind to E-heart. Is it really next, or is it already here?

In a way, dance is about the de-connecting of E-lectronic impulses and the reconnection of E-motions.

I like to call this age the iPod generation. Everyone's walking around, with ear phones blasting noise into their minds. Whatever happened to listening to another person's voice? No- not the E-voice of a recording. Not the E-voice of someone half way across the city who is connected by E-pulses in the air transmitted by Mr. Rogers, or Mr. Fido or Mr. Telus. How about telling us that the person brain vomit that comes out of our mouths is a little better than settling for Telus connections?

I really pray that one day I don't have to call us the iPod generation, but rather the iListen Generation.

As in: I listen when you don't speak. I listen in the silence. I listen to the things you try to hide. I listen to the truth. I listen to love. I listen to God. I listen when you pretend you're okay. I listen when you rant.

I listen and don't judge.

The iPod's have turned the two peas in a pod phenomenon to I am the only pea in my pod.

No wonder North America is just so damned depressed.

I believe art is the celebration of God's creation. And what did God create?

All of humanity.

sooo...I've had a bit of a rough week month. First there was trying to get back into the swing of school after Christmas...then there was taking care of my parents when they both got the flu at the same time...then dealing with catching some random strep virus....and then the snow....and the snow again....and then...this week. =_=

I handed in my essay today...and I hope that it'll be enough to pull my mark up to my standards. But whatever happens is God's will.

I'm not complaining about the hardship....rather...I find that the hardship reminds me of the small things to be thankful for.

So today, thank God that my morning lecture wasn't a lecture...but more of a come hand in your ish and leave. Thank God that I didn't have to teach in Woodbridge today because the school buses were cancelled for St. Stephen and there wouldn't have been many kids anyways...Thank God that I can sit here, type away and then fall into a blissful nap....just to recharge before another all nighter!

But most of all....thank God for reading week which is next week. Only the Two of us know how much I need it to recharge and study my arse off.

I don't know why, but second sem seems more draining than first sem. But I know I'll get through it. If I can't make it this year, then I definately won't be able to make it next year...what with the crazy plans that are brewing in my head about my future.

Even though I've lost touch with many friends...and I'm struggling at the moment just to keep touch with the few that have stayed with me...thank God for it. I know there will be some kind of good to come out of the hardships.

Anyways, I'm off to drop to sleep. Or maybe lunch then a nap...which is really bad for the body....but whatever. I'm deep into the 'stressed and eat when you can' diet anyways, and the only way to turn back around of this deep pool of unhealthiness is to finish this semester off right. Gah...whatever happened to that resolution to stay healthy again? Oh yeah....first year. blah.

Oh well, until next time! Take care and God bless dear reader <3

So, I guess '08 is all about trust, perserverace and...as always, change?

I loved '07- trials and all.

I love you guys forever.

I think it's safe to say "parting is such sweet sorrow"

But I know that supporting from afar is my place. Mass leading is the new pace.
It's all good though....new faces, new places all for the sake of finding Your trace.

So...I haven't been here in a little while.

Well, I'm supposed to be sleeping, but clearly I'm not. Yes....I'm such a rebel without a cause.

I'm not asleep yet because the lump on the side of my cheek caused by swelling from the extraction of my wisdom teeth is keeping me awake. Currently, the left side of my face resembles a chipmunk- but only the left side.

So, I had my wisdom teeth taken on Saturday morning...it is now Tuesday morning. The swelling hasn't really reduced, but the interesting thing is, I have reduced my life as a hermit. Literally over the past few days, I haven't gone out or gotten up and done much of anything.

I have an assignment that I need to hand in by 12pm on Wednesday...and you know what? I'm scared to. You may be asking why...well. I'm scared of getting on the TTC and having everyone stare me down simply because I look...like Alvin the Chipmunk's half sister.

Now, that's got me thinking. How much does my image really matter to me? I used to think that I wasn't vain....until now. Sure, when I head out the door I don't really think about if I look good as I'm going through my day...but now that there's a lump on my jaw, I can't go out in public? It's an interesting thing. I know that I HAVE to hand this thing in but at the same time, I'm dreading it like it's a funeral or something...

Well...that's just a little somethin somethin to ponder about. I'm off to succumb to the seduction and healing powers of a beautiful thing called sleep. I haven't gotten much of that since term started, so this is it for me for the night.

Later xanga homies!